well well well...
now it is time for me to start over even if it has been way too late.
my life has been ruined in several areas lately. however im not sure if ruined is the best word define my situation. i guess i've been trying to think about them as they are propitious for me. well, i hope.
first,my boyfriend broke up with me after 5 years-without any reason. he did not even bother to explain what had happened and what he had been thinking about me and our relationship.i've started to call him "dud" as worthless because of the fact that he does not even deserve a nickname. he didn't just leave me(!) he left our lives,dreams,plans,jokes,hopes,hugs,kisses,secrets,prolonged conversations,gossips,laughs,tears,countless break ups,countless make ups and everything.i guess i was in shock in early times despite being known that it wasnt one of our regular break ups. but now it has been 2months now since we broke up. i think i've started to get used to with the fact that he's gone. i want to stop crying all time but it is really hard to hold my tears when they're dedicated to go down. after all those evaluations about his nonsense attitude,i've come up with a conclusion. i believe that he stopped loving and wanting me in his life. he could not take my responsibility near his for our future. but the biggest problem is there was nothing called like "our future" for him.i dont want to talk about him who has been such a jerk and footling man.he also accepts that he doesnt deserve me at all. yeah.this is the only thing we believe in common.i've gotta life to live but its gonna be without him till my last breath. he was my whole life by the time he did not even hesitate to move on without me. to sum up, everything about him and us was a BIG FAT LIE.
second, my parents are in a process to divorce. well, it wasnt a big shock at all. we've been expecting that and we're quite glad about it.because we all deeply believe that we're gonna be in deep peace without my father.especially mum is gonna live her own life. my brothers,mum and grandma are the only people for me in my life. all i want is knowing them they're happy all the time.and i truly believe they're gonna be:)
last but not least i've changed my school and undergraduate programme.so i'm moving out of the town which has been a place for me for 2 years with Dud. i'm gonna live in a different city which i hardly know about. with my cousin and brother.
yeah i've been through a lot but it could not have been a better start for me to change my life and start over. i believe everything's gonna be great.
i'm gonna find somebody to love and be loved back.
i'm gonna be successfull at my academics.
my family is gonna be extremely joyful.
from now on i quit devastating myself about people who dont even worth thinking about a second.
i know he's out there and he's gonna make me believe that I'VE GOTTA LIFE TO LIVE !!!! :))))