Saturday, September 10, 2011

last minute delay

i had to delay my make over programme because of our busy moving time. there's no certain time we wake up or eat or walk or do anyting. so whenever i set up my life in order i'm gonna start to apply my plan once and for all..

regrets hopes reality

 he send  me a text message last night at 5am that indicated he had missed me. we've texted for ours then his text could not be delievered fully so i called him. and it was both hard and nice to hear his voice again. i miss him so  much. i dont know what to do. i had better let it go because as long as i try to think about what i should do, i can never come up with a solution. so i have decided to do or think nothing.
i wish i could give him a big and an endless hug right now.

i miss him so much.

Friday, September 9, 2011


there's nobody to help me to bring myself back to it's enough to live like a live corpse. i want to change myself.everything about my life.
1.nutrition order
2.assertive style
3.loyal and prospering carreer
4.physical beauty
5.enjoying a spare time school club
6.being a member of a health foundation
7.having a parttime job
8.learning a secong foreign language
9.going a dance course
10..being more social with friends
11.and finding the one...
these are the things i would like to achieve.11 things i want to have in my life.
sooo let's begin.!

Attention sil-vous-plait!

well well well...
now it is time for me to start over even if it has been way too late.
my life has been ruined in several areas lately. however im not sure if ruined is the best  word define my situation. i guess i've been trying to think about them as they are propitious for me. well, i hope.
first,my boyfriend broke up with me after 5 years-without any reason. he did not even bother to explain what had happened and what he had been thinking about me and our relationship.i've started to call him "dud" as worthless because of the fact that he does not even deserve a nickname. he didn't just leave me(!) he left our lives,dreams,plans,jokes,hopes,hugs,kisses,secrets,prolonged conversations,gossips,laughs,tears,countless break ups,countless make ups and everything.i guess i was in shock in early times despite being known that it wasnt one of our regular break ups. but now it has been 2months now since we broke up. i think i've started to get used to with the fact that he's gone. i want to stop crying all time but it is really hard to hold my tears when they're dedicated to go down. after all those evaluations about his nonsense attitude,i've come up with a conclusion. i believe that he stopped loving and wanting me in his life. he could not take my responsibility near his for our future. but the biggest problem is there was nothing called like "our future" for him.i dont want to talk about him who has been such a jerk and footling man.he also accepts that he doesnt deserve me at all. yeah.this is the only thing we believe in common.i've gotta life to live but its gonna be without him till my last breath.  he was my whole life by the time he did not even hesitate to move on without me.  to sum up, everything about him and us was a BIG FAT LIE.
 second, my parents are in a process to divorce. well, it wasnt a big shock at all. we've been expecting that and we're quite glad about it.because we all deeply believe that we're gonna be in deep peace without my father.especially mum is gonna live her own life. my brothers,mum and grandma are the only people for me in my life. all i want is knowing them they're happy all the time.and i truly believe they're gonna be:)
 last but not least i've changed my school and undergraduate i'm moving out of the town which has been a place for me for 2 years with Dud. i'm gonna live in a different city which i hardly know about. with my cousin and brother.
yeah i've been through a lot but it could not have been a better start for me to change my life and start over. i believe everything's gonna be great.
i'm gonna find somebody to love and be loved back.
i'm gonna be successfull at my academics.
my family is  gonna be extremely joyful.
from now on i quit devastating myself about people who dont even worth thinking about a second.
i know he's out there and he's gonna make me believe that I'VE GOTTA LIFE TO LIVE !!!! :))))